A Final Breath, A Loss of Love
by MariskaRose
Summary: Adam's thoughts as Fiona dies in his arms...Please read and review! x
1. Chapter 1

A:N Please read and review its my first spooks fic so please be nice! Thank you.. BTW, i own no characters actually! SOPHIE X ps. Song is goodbye my lover by James Blunt

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I've seen you smile, I've seen you cry_

_Watched you sleeping for a while,_

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

He'd never felt pain quite like it. Seeing the last glimmer of life fade from a loved ones eyes. He'd killed people before, intentionally, seen people die and each one he felt a part of himself leave his body. A tiny part of his spirit remained in the place that they died. But this pain was different. It was like his entire body was being torn apart. His limbs ripped from his torso. He held her tight in his arms, her beautiful face, calm and peaceful. Her blood covered his hands, the coppery smell flooding his nostrils.

"Fi," he whispered, "Come on kitten, wake up." He stroked at her hair. Each silent second felt like eternity. "Fi, please, Wes needs you." He begged her to wake up. Praying someone would hear and give her back to him.

"We need you. Remember, you promised to take Wes to the science exhibition next month, remember you couldn't go last time. **I **need you Fi." He whispered, his voice shaking. He thought about how they'd met, the smile.

_I love you; I swear that's true,_

_I cannot live without you._

He didn't know how long he'd been there, couple of minutes, a couple of hours…he didn't care. At that very moment he wanted to die. He wanted to be with her again. It was Jo who pulled him from her. He felt her hand on his shoulder.

"Adam," she spoke softly. "Adam, come on." He looked up. He stayed still rooted to the spot. She took his arm and tried to guide him up. He noticed the moisture in her eyes, and looked away. He couldn't cry. Crying seemed final – the end.

"I can't leave her," he muttered shaking his head.

"Adam, please…" she struggled for something to say.

"She wouldn't want to be alone," he told her sharply.

"We'll meet up with her again, I promise," she remained kind and calm.

"No!" he shouted standing and swinging wildly around. "I'm not leaving her. SHE NEEDS ME."

He looked at the faces staring at him. Zaf, Jo, Ruth, Harry. Why was Harry here? The 'back up' team who couldn't stop her being killed. They looked shocked.

"SHE'S MY WIFE!" he shouted. He kneeled down to her again. It was Harry who tried next. Adam felt his presence.

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know why Adam. But what I do know is that, you've been so lucky. To share your life with a woman like Fiona and you can grieve, but we need to get you to your son. He's going to need you so much in the next few weeks. It's going to be the most difficult thing you've ever done, but we're here for you…we all are…" he spoke quietly but assertively.

Adam looked around at everyone's faces. Emotions stopped. It was then he became hollow. He felt the change. His whole body lost all it's feeling. He didn't know why but he stood, his legs moved on their own. He watched people put her in a body bag. His wife, the infamous Fiona Carter shoved in a bag. He turned with guidance from Harry and Jo, climbed in to a car in a daze. He didn't even notice when they arrived at his home. The home he shared with Wes and Fiona. He could smell her flowery perfume. Everywhere he turned there were traces of her. He sat and stared around. Just sat and stared into nothing.

_I will bare my Soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet_

_Goodbye My Lover, Good bye Friend, _

_You have been one, _

_You have been the one for me. _


	2. Goodbye My Lover and Friend

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take._

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be_

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

_And I will bear my soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._


End file.
